Monday, September 04, 2006

electronic email id ka pata batao thakur

"Don ka intazaar to 11 mulko ki police kar rahi hai par ek baat samajh lo, Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, namumkin hai!!"

It was almost suicidal today to listen this dialogue in SKR's voice. I was like "This guy is either a very good human or like a real mafia types one. Otherwise why does nobody breaks his heart and tells him that he looks like a Don's cartoon film and should rather do umrao jan than Don. Go do karan johar (oops!!) ... i mean his movies!"

Anyway, sometimes people think they are doing something they are good at, but actually they become like an object of ridicule to others, by doing something everyone knows he can't!! Udi baba, tragedy bana riye the, ye commedy kaise ban gaya?? wahi wala haal ...

And I think I will continue blogging. So if you wanna read (ie u r in luv with my posts *blush* :D), drop in ur email id ka pata as a comment, and main naya address bhej doonga aati huyi daak se...

Doctor, inject thyself ...

PS: Don's songs are too gud otherwise. Listen to them if you haven't yet. Main abhee bas SKR ki voice bas edit kar doon... then i'll be a total happy dude... :)

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

!!Closed!!

They're saying 22nd August is the Doom's day...

Let's get the hell out of here...

This blog is officially closed...

So Long...


Saturday, July 29, 2006

Wanna Get Married?

Well……

One of my friend’s post recently made me think and then thinking made me scared. It was about marriage stuff. And my thoughts started running wild, conjured my married life with me dodging all the utensils in our house. And like any other boy with some senses and brains, I concluded that I am not yet ready to marry anyone expect for Aishwarya Rai may be. But all was not so bad. Hell… you decide on your own after reading what happens…

Six months before marriage

I have bought Reliance India mobile telephone and am talking day and night with my “to be” using my hands free. For the 47th time I am explaining it to her what I ate today and she is asking again for the 48th time what else did I eat today. I don’t know what else would such couples talk about? Not to make all the people feel bad who ask me this question a lot, I want to confess that I think this is the most boring question one human being can ask another one. Especially when all I eat is human food including chicken most of the time. Its like, “Since I don’t have anything else intelligent to say, so what did you eat today?”. Alright, it was a little bit of exaggeration, but it nonetheless remains a boring question. Anyway, we would have to talk about this eating stuff or something else all the time and I will have to take breaks to even go pee.

But the key thing about this part is that it is like a crash course preparing for some exam, with a girl you like, filled with all the excitement. Remember to memorize all the events and stuff and talks you did. You WILL be asked about this after marriage, and you can or WILL be in serious trouble if you forget something. Huh!!

First Year

Like a fresher entering college for the first time, world is waiting with its arms wide open. But the ragging is yet to begin. Although I have all the talking and love I always thought about, but the old chill out dayz are gone. People have started thinking of me as a married and responsible man (yuck!!) and I miss my messy and dirty room filled with filth. (Just today only I realized that the disposable coffee cup kept in my room for more then a week now, was the ultimate source of all the smell and insects. Hell… it is still there).

Ok. I have thrown it away now, but all in all, this would be big change in life involving all the feminine stuff in my room (no more room for dirty coffee cups), she will make me go shopping, and I will have to think twice before making general comments like “I don’t like the food” (man, they can really get you into trouble). And all the questions prepared in the first phase (six months era) will be asked from time to time. And I thus may find myself sleeping on sofa from time to time, since I have learned nothing, and sporadically I may have to agree to Lal Bahadur Shashtri ji and skip meals (Since I won’t get any). And yes, there’s a risk that blogging may end or I’ll hear not-spending-enough-time complaints which can easily ruin your life.

Three to five years

All the inherent just-married cleanliness and affection of the house is gone and there is kid’s shit all around the place. Washing machine is stuffed with yellow diapers which were originally white. The kid is crying or screaming all the time and I don’t have anything else to do since the kid peed on my old laptop. And keeping in mind today’s events (I mean salary and stuff), I am finding it hard to maintain both diapers and laptop, all at the same time. I can afford only one of them, which of course, have to be diapers.

I’m thinking: “Man!! I envisioned this kid stuff way back, like a visionary, like an entrepreneur, but I’m still here, hell”

Five Plus

Kid has grown a little bit and so is the screaming. Of course, since child beating practices still prevail in India, we may sometimes use our power to slap him/her a couple of times just for the heck of it. But it won’t stop the screaming anyway. I will come back from office and try to sit quietly, watching TV, but would have to listen to all the Mrs. Sharma and Mrs. Gupta stuff plus the screaming. Well, I will have to, because not-spending-enough-time rule is valid till this date. Traces of Bachelor life are like a dream and best daze of my life are gone. But the good ol' beer still remains (hopefully) and occasional catch up with an old friend would be a most awaited moment. And yes, ogling at hot girls secretly would continue side by side with deep sighs.


More Years

I wanted to write more but …

Brain Status:
***Idle brain, No activity noticed since last one hour***

Debugger Trace:
***Way too much thinking on a stressful subject. If stressed more, it could explode***

Fix:
***Publish the post and go to sleep***


Phew… now even my laptop is sweating its keys out thinking all this … I will have to stop here and find some hair dryer to dry it up. It really works ... try it sometime ... I learned this trick from one of my most intelligent friend.

PS (added later): Forgot to mention that finally my intelligent friend successfully managed to melt his key board. So don't try hair dryer stuff at home, to be done by a professional only.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Main aur Meri...

One of my good friend, Abhishek Mishra aka "Bittu Jhintakpuri" wrote an amazing piece, which I found worth reproducing here (with his consent of course ;)... n'joy

chand panktiya pehli baar pesh kar rahaa hoon gaur
farmaiyegaa..

mein aur meri Marlboro aksar yeh baatein karte haim
tum na hoti to kaisa hosa hota tum na hoti to waisa
hotaa..

mein lighter ghar par bhulkar na pachtata , mein kisi
ajnabee se baat karne ka mauka na dhund paata..
mein aur meri Marlboro aksar yeh baatein karte hain

yeh gamla hai yaa koi ashtray
khaana jal rahaa hai yaa jalti ciggrette se garbage bag jal gayaa

yeh car perfume hai yaa cigrette ke butt sad gaye hai
yeh koi neend ki dawa hai yaa jagne ka bahaana

yeh kaagaj jalne ki sarsarrahat
yaa fir se cigrette sseed(moist) gayi hai

yeh sochta hai mera boss gup chup
jabki usko bhi yeh khabar hai
ki badboo nahi hai ... nahi hai
magar dilyeh kah rahaa hai badboo yahi hai ... yahin hai

baar baar bahar jaane ki aadat meri bhi hai uski bhi
dil mein ek khawaish mere bhi hai uske bhi
karne ko bahot kaam hai ... lekin kab tak ruke hum

Dil yeh kehta hai ki koi mujhko pehle bulaa le
yeh jo cell phone hai koi number ispar lagaa de
Hum kaam khushi se kar sakte hai .. yeh logo ko bata de

haan hum smokers hai smokers hai....
ab dhuaan idhar bhi hai udhar bhi ...

Aaapka apna
Bittu Jhintakpuri ;)

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Untitled

OK now, Parle-G ki kasam, as far as ideas for a new post are concerned, last few days were as blank as … err … blank!! Now you see, I didn’t do any road trip, no Vegas trip either, I didn't notice any unusual activities on my way to office and many more excuses. And hence the post goes Untitled (But if you really think about it, it’s not untitled afterall). But even when the top layer of an organ of mine, called brain, is blank, let me think and explore last few days.

The first thing striking the upper portions of my head are my dinners alone. Remember the friends’ episode where Rachel goes to that awkward dinner by herself? Believe me, it’s not even similar to what I found out. You just have to be cautious that you don’t end up at a big fancy restaurant. That’d be really awkward sitting alone with civilized and well behaved people. Even civilized people eating alone look weird amidst other civilized ones. Pick a small place, where food is served by a waitress preferably, and that’s it. I went to waffle house (a place nearby which serves eggs, chicken and stuff) at around 11 PM a couple of times last week, and it was kind of cool. A little chit chat with waitresses (thanks to Murphy, they were all old), exchanging a few words with some new real American people, read your book and chew some nice pieces of grilled chicken, eggs and hash browns. It makes you understand a lot. A sense of independence and you get to see the real side of the place you are living in.

Let’s move on to more interesting stuff. For last two days, I’ve been hopping bars. And not well known ones, but real downtown kind of bars. I went with two of my friends at work (amriki), just for a few drinks, but we ended up roaming and hopping bars in downtown until 2.30 in Morning, listening to all kinds of local bands. 2.30, because at 2 they have to shut off the bars as per South Carolina laws. Both the days were a blast. The last bar to which I went was like, you can say, you get a real picture of what this country actually is. The side, which you can never even think off from outside. And yes, please take care that you never go to such places unless accompanied by a local fellow. Some of the folks can be real nasty and what you say, TOB, i.e. Totally Outrageous Behavior. And I don’t mean that way, if some of you real dirt-brains started getting other ideas… ;)

And last, I’ve been seeing all the stuff going on at middle-east these days. There’s a lot of turmoil. And I’ve read many blogs and listened to people around. Some think that why can’t India do such stuff? They kill 2 soldiers and Israel declares a war. Well, I don’t think India can do that. If hizbullah had nuclear weapons too, Israel would have thought ten times before making such a move. And moreover, I don’t even like making comments on such stuff because even when I’m really concerned, the best I can do is to light a matchstick and put my pants on fire. But whatever, I think US would get involved too. They’ve learned only one lesson from Vietnam. And that is, “Stay out of Vietnam!”. Err… I mean…. just Vietnam!!. But what bothers me even more than India going to a war is the fact that children still keep falling into 50 feet boring holes in our country. Every few months or so, there's a child in a hole and every expert starts coming up with a way to get him out. Why can't we prevent it? Have we really lost value for life?

I’m listening to the song “running on empty”, soundtrack from Forrest Gump. And somehow it makes me feel terribly motivated now. Naah, not the kind which makes you invent a bulb or something, but the kind which makes you look at world differently. From an angle which is not 180 degrees. But from the top, zoomed far away. With the passing of every moment, you can feel the power of now blending into you. You become appreciative of everything and your path becomes clear. What’s hard is to maintain the vision and walk on it. Every day is different; you never know what tomorrow may bring. Hopefully, tomorrow I’ll be able to think of something better to do than to put my pants on fire, when I’m real concerned over war and stuff.

PS: Pasting lyrics would make the post real big, but then, what the heck….

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields
In sixty-five I was seventeen and running up one-o-one
I dont know where Im running now, Im just running on

Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But Im running behind

Gotta do what you can just to keep your love alive
Trying not to confuse it with what you do to survive
In sixty-nine I was twenty-one and I called the road my own
I dont know when that road turned onto the road Im on

Everyone I know, everywhere I go
People need some reason to believe
I dont know about anyone but me
If it takes all night, thatll be all right
If I can get you to smile before I leave

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
I dont know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels
I look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through
Looking into their eyes I see them running too

Honey you really tempt me
You know the way you look so kind
Id love to stick around but Im running behind
You know I dont even know what Im hoping to find
Running into the sun but Im running behind

Sunday, July 09, 2006

What do you say to that?

Was that Anger?
Frustration of not getting support from others?
Retort?
Impulsiveness?
Stupidity?
What?
What could Materazzi have possibly said to make him do that??

Saturday, July 08, 2006

The Sin City Adventure

After walking this earth for almost 25 years, I finally made it to Las Vegas, the sin city. Last I heard or saw in movies, this city was filled of excitement and crazy stuff going round the clock. I found out that they even have slot machines installed on gas stations. You think of a place, and you can gamble there. I found it crazy that McDonald’s there haven’t yet installed any slots. Anyway, so here is how my own trip comes out.

Friday Night

I landed on airport at 10.30 PM and met Atul at baggage claim. He was already cursing me for checking in my bag and making us wait to enter the Vegas. To make things worse, the bag never arrived. Apparently, someone forgot to put the bag in flight from Atlanta itself and I had to finally wait in a long baggage claim queue. The bag arrived next day at the hotel.

We reached the hotel at 1 AM, and here is how it looked



It was tall; tallest in city. I never stayed in such a tall hotel. But it turned out that the tower is just the show off, the casino and main hotel building was on side. Tower had a few rides and the most romantic restaurant in town, which we had no use for. So we stayed there. Oh yes, we came down at 1.30 AM again to eat something and had our first touch of alcohol.

Saturday

We woke up at 7.30 in the morning for that England soccer match. But I fell asleep again and learned later, waked by Atul’s scream, that damned Rooney got a red card. England lost of course, and Atul almost lost his mind screaming all the abuse. Later, Brazil also lost. But we still somehow managed a long walk to the vegas strip. It was almost 2 miles, which Atul forced on me, with a burning sun, tanning everything with 115 degrees (F). We hopped around a few Casinos and there began my beginner’s luck. I won 40 dollars in a slot machine at Mirage. And out of those 40, 20 were Atul’s…;). Luck was with me after all, and I was thinking, “where the hell did that Murphy go?”. Anyway, we were back into the hotel casino by late evening and I won another 40 on a blackjack table, can you believe it?

I was +80 by now. Even after walking all day in Atul's t-shirt. Now to tell you, in gambling, many people have to lose in order that the few may win. Atul was among the many to loose, and I was among the few who won. But a man's got to make at least one bet; else he could be walking around lucky and never know it. I made a bet, and it was my lucky day.

Sunday

Started the day with a phone call from Atul’s Mexican friend at 10 to get up and get ready by 11. We were to go to hoover dam. To give a snap of how deep that was, take a look. I think it’s the biggest dam in world. (Damned blogger isn't letting me upload the picture. Well, will do that later).

In the evening we hopped around 8-10 Casinos including all the ones shown in Ocean’s Eleven. Man, it was amazing walking amidst the filthiest rich guys in the world, who could afford playing at a 1000 dollars minimum bet table. Most of them were Japnese. I can simply waste many pages if I start describing all the people and places there. So I leave it to your imagination.

Sin city never lets you get away with your money. That’s how they even out all the free drinks they give. This evening, I lost all my 80 dollars which I won yesterday, and I was even now. Atul lost a few more bucks. Poor chap never even won a single dime. Bad luck needs no explanation. And I guess, neither does good.

Monday

I started the day with checking my luck for the day and played 10 dollars on a slot machine. I lost it all, in a row, without a single win. It was a sign to caution me. But casinos wouldn’t be making so much money if people started having so much of a self control.

And I was still all excited to screw the casino, ignoring the slot machine’s gesture, and get away with all the winnings and free drink, and show them that not everyone they can fool. I started on a blackjack pit and soon converted my 40 bucks into 100. I Somehow managed to get up with winning and controlling my desire to win some more. But as we hopped on from table to table, we finally picked the table which was about to blow everything up.

In the beginning, it started all right and I soon converted my 100 to 150. But soon it was proved that gambling with cards or dice or stocks is all one thing. It's getting money without giving an equivalent for it. How else do you explain four 21s in a row in a game of blackjack? The table screwed everyone, including me, and the fact that I was doubling my bet with each loss (that’s how I made the money initially) I soon lost all 150 and 100 more. Seemed like I didn’t only believe in miracles, but depended on them. Atul did tell me in between to bet 5 instead of doubling. But I betted 5 chips instead of 5 dollar, and lost it all. It sucks. I wasn’t enjoying it anymore, and I quit. I was -150 now. Murphy dude was back.

I finally made up my mind to see some dances after so much of loosing, although loosing was part of fun, but a promise made by Atul to someone screwed that plan too. A promise is a promise, and now I have to handle all the mocking coz of not seeing even a single dance. That too in Vegas. Damn.

We finalized our trip by loosing some more and taking a walk again to the strip. Had the best time with some more drinks amidst a free city… loud music... and streets packed with crowd, with no one caring about anything. It was surely a cool trip and I will remember it in time to come... Vegas Baby!!!